Win/Lose

My mom tells me that as a kid I used to stay put at the doll section, till my dad bought me one of the Barbies . I remember sitting down on the carpeted floor of the mall, saying I wanted a soft doll which was the” in” thing then. Also my dad had to get me a make-believe kitchen set cause Haseena (my then-bestfriend) had one which she showed off. Explains I was thoroughly spoilt. It usually didn’t require much effort to get this part done. My dad gave in pretty fast . No crying, coaxing nothing. I don’t think I grew up to become a self centered selfish female(or am I?) , So I tend to always feel there is nothing wrong in being bought up the way I have been, till recently. I earn enough to get hold of the toys which fancy me today like a flashy mobile or an Ipod. But the most desirable of all things, is still out of my reach. Winning someone’s heart. It could be -your roommates so that she lets you snore at night without throwing you out , your iron Wala’s so that he decreases a fifty paisa for each dress he presses, your cab driver’s so that he is ready to wait for you when you have overslept, your Technical Lead’s so that he sends you for the recruitment next time in the King Fisher flight(yes I am obsessed with flights ). I have been pretty bad in winning people’s hearts (especially my Technical Lead’s) that I was wondering if I could just ask my dad to get it for me. People tell me we never make friends in the corporate world. You just meet people, be with them and move on. Life goes on. Is it that simple, always? If the colleague who plans to move on to greener pastures also happens to be one of your closest friends. If you have spend every waking moment with them. If you are ready to wait two extra hours hungry just to enjoy dinner together. If you have watched every other movie sitting besides them and dozing off on each others shoulder. If you have plunged into everything happy, watery, sad or muddy together. If they understand what you feel just by a silent nod or an unhappy murmur. Will you still find it simple? Does life just go on in the absence of such people? This one`s for you Patil and Raji. I am gonna miss you guys a lot.

Fall

There is a puddle in the stairway of my girl`s hostel. Due to the consistent , unending leak from a water retainer situated nearby. Everytime I pass by that way I make a double conscious effort not to slip,walk like a two year old firmly holding the rail of the stairway. Even the idea of my roommate slipping and falling gives me shudders that I always scream from my room asking her to be careful every single time she crosses the place.Even during some of the long trips we take walking through some unruly ,uneven ground I always lag back trying to walk safely. It`s good that I have two friends hopelessly in love with each other that when , while trotting slowly revelling in each other`s glory, they have an eye on me struggling behind them. Thus I keep myself from getting kidnapped in some alien place.Talking about walking in normal even floors, that`s even worse. I take such small steps that too without lifting my feet from the floor. And with my best friend reciting “lift your feel while u walk” like a mantra behind me. It happens to be so unimpressive that even the guy who is head over heels in love with me is offended by the notion of me walking or half of my colleagues calling me bathak*. What is all this about? This over carefulness in using my feet. Plain easy fear of falling and hurting myself physically . There are people who enjoy the idea of broken bones. It is said God gives us only as much pain as we can bear. And God knows I cant bear any physical pain and so he made me a slow walker.Now going into the root cause analysis being the born psychologist . I have once seen my dad slip and fall not noticing the puddle of water in my white marble verandah. Absolutely nothing happened to him. No broken bones not even a tiny bruise. All I remember is that I was in unbelievable shock seeing him fall unexpectedly and hearing my mom shriek. It happened long back and I am sure both my mom and dad would have forgotten it . My friends if they hear this unimpressive story as the reason for making every trip of ours late will not believe me. Yet, everything has a reason. I have two left feet and I have accepted it. Its time for my unassuming SL also to learn that I don’t walk like a bathak out of choice. *bathak-- hindi word for duck