MadeMyTrip.com

I stumbled upon a song in my friend’s ipod while I was in Chennai. Come undone by Duran Duran . I wondered how I had forgotten to add this song to my list of favorites in imeem. Maybe it never was my favorite song . It could just be that listening to it after a long time I found it familiar. And familiarity is often mistaken as fondness. One way or the other I added it to my imeem play list. I have just returned back from a trip to Chennai. It’s notorious for its unwelcoming climate. But I am fond of this metro. Is it cause of the familiarity? I am not sure . To know more about the positives and negatives of this capital city you may visit here. For me Chennai summed up in a line is- The city where my best friend works. She has a constant complaint that I refer to all my close friends as best friend in this page. So I take this opportunity to rephrase. Best friend is a singular noun and cannot be used to refer to all close friends. After realizing that we still complete each others sentences even after a gap of two years, I decided to rethink the entire idea of what a soul mate means. And I reached the conclusion that soul mate needn’t be your life partner, or the person you are in love with. In fact it needn’t even be a person of the opposite gender at all. [I am taking into consideration only the Utopian society where everyone is straight]. Your soul mate could as well be one of your friends. My redefined definition of a soul mate is someone who understands even the most unacceptable emotion of yours. And tells you it’s just human to feel so. Talking of soul mates, one of my friends recently fell in love. Or I presume. And the inevitable happened. The obvious reduction in the number of phone calls made to the rest of the world, the inability to enjoy anything in the absence of the dear one, and the prolonged silences before agreeing to the “gang’s” movie or dinner plans. When his prolonged silences started turning into lame excuses I figured out that I have almost lost a friend. Seeing him struggle to maintain his undying love for his sweetheart and his comradeship with me I decided to back down [Understanding friend that I am]. I personally believe in the principle that girlfriends and boyfriends come and go but friendship is for life [Courtesy Phoebe F.R.I.E.N.D.S]. My friend never seemed to get this idea though. And now for the incident that made my trip. One of my college mates gave me a card which said ‘Friend, you are even better than what I thought’. We never had very pleasant experiences with each other in the past. So the card was unexpected. Made me realize that in spite of me being yacky yack talkative, dumb, and having a nonsensical sense of humor I still am acceptable as a human being . And that felt good. Circumstance can make a person act out of the ordinary. And such circumstances needn’t reflect who we really are. By the way I colored my hair. After a lot of thinking I had pointed out a color from the list the hairdresser showed me. I did find a brownish tinge in the parlor with all the glaring light. But once my friends examined it in a crowded autorickshaw [with their mobile lights concentrated on my hair] they concluded its blacker than ever before. Sigh! But there is reason to smile. My Chennai friends loved my mobile wallpaper, unlike my unsupportive office mates.

:-( Sob!

I have always been intrigued by the entire concept of shedding tears [Crying!! In general lingo]. What triggers those glands which are hidden somewhere behind our vision. [I donno where the tear glands are located exactly I am assuming it’s behind]. There is this particular Malayalam movie; I burst out crying every time I watch [Ente Veedu Apponteyum for my mallu readers information]. I am not among those people who carry a hankie for every other tear jerker movie. But some particular feeling in the movie breaks me down. The interesting part being that in spite of having the fear of the mascara* getting smeared over and me looking ugly, I never miss a chance to watch it. And the movie remains one of my all time favorites. So I figured out maybe I enjoy crying. Things were pretty different when I was younger. As a kid I made sure I never shed a tear in public [ By kid I mean when I was in school, I would/should have cried when I was a new born]. I remember once my headmistress asked me to meet her in her office [SCARY!!] for not wishing her in the hallway of the school. With my superb academic performance and the lineage the Ullas family had created [Thanks to my brother and his consistent top scores] there wasn’t much she could do, other than say some indirect statements to hurt me. Most of them were hinted at my supposed arrogance. [ I was just a ten year old kid shy to say Good Morning]. I don’t remember how I felt when she scolded me. But before she let me go she said “Not a single tear in your eye. Shows how you don’t repent what you did and shows your arrogance.” Maybe it is this particular incident that triggered the concept in me that crying is a good thing. Or it might as well be the plain old reason, MEN!! Whatever it be, my eyes started welling up pretty fast from the time I turned thirteen. In my present life scenario I have categorized crying to be of three degrees 1) Bursting out crying. Wailing. You have no control over it. It just explodes. Pretty ugly sight. Either make sure you are inside the rest room or just lock the door of which ever room you happen to get yourself into. 2) Tears flowing down your cheek. I personally feel I look pretty when this happens. My eyes are glazed and I even managed to look into the mirror once . Couldn’t take a picture as my camera was being used as a tear jerker mobile at that point in time 3) The times where you would have managed without wasting the water resource, until a well wisher pats your shoulder and asks if you are alright. And the water works begin. This usually will happen in a public arena. So just bend down and cover your face. You should be fine within five minutes, but you would have made a total ass of yourself by then. Now into the second level of analysis what makes us cry? I dono about the entire world, I will talk about what makes the most familiar person to me cry. And that would be me. [I feel like I am writing down the advantages of RAID 0/1 over RAID 1/0. Studying does affect the human psyche, especially when done once in two years] Burst out crying with examples: 1) When the parent of a hospitalised friend of mine, indirectly expressed his dislike in me frequently visiting. I walked out of the room ,ran downstairs, rang up my roomie and cried all the way back home. People on the hospital premises were definite, my other half has been diagnosed with AIDS a few minutes back. Underlying emotion- INSULT. 2) When after a sparkling performance in the GD (Group discussion) and Tech round. Being rejected in the Polaris HR round for having said the word gullible (that’s the reason my classmates figured out). Cried out loud to my brother in Chennai who realized at that moment that he has a career crazy sister. Underlying emotion: INSULT again. Also the feeling that I may never get a job in my life. [I got through to my present company the very next day with God’s Grace] Tears flowing down with examples 1) Every time anyone who has hurt me apologizes. Especially when they are late apologies [way after I am over the pain]. The effect is quadrupled if the person apologizing happens to be in a drunken stupor. Underlying emotion: SELF-PITY 2) When my best friend got transferred to Bangalore while I was still in Chennai. The thought that I won’t be able to steal his orange juice in the morning filled my eyes continuously for four days. I was relocated to the same project and place after four days. Underlying emotion:DONNO. Cry following the pat on the shoulder with examples 1) Total mushy stuff. I dare not include. After all this research there is something that i havent been able to analyze yet. The big macho men shedding tears. I have seen only two men cry in the long twenty four years of my life[Yes, I am 24]. I particularly remember not enjoying the sight . Thankfully both were close family members that their apparent ugliness didn’t offend me much. In spite of totally believing in the equality of sexes, I still can’t accept a man crying. Why is it so? When is the last time you cried? *mascara- I dont wear make-up. Couldnt find anything else to create the effect.

Win/Lose

My mom tells me that as a kid I used to stay put at the doll section, till my dad bought me one of the Barbies . I remember sitting down on the carpeted floor of the mall, saying I wanted a soft doll which was the” in” thing then. Also my dad had to get me a make-believe kitchen set cause Haseena (my then-bestfriend) had one which she showed off. Explains I was thoroughly spoilt. It usually didn’t require much effort to get this part done. My dad gave in pretty fast . No crying, coaxing nothing. I don’t think I grew up to become a self centered selfish female(or am I?) , So I tend to always feel there is nothing wrong in being bought up the way I have been, till recently. I earn enough to get hold of the toys which fancy me today like a flashy mobile or an Ipod. But the most desirable of all things, is still out of my reach. Winning someone’s heart. It could be -your roommates so that she lets you snore at night without throwing you out , your iron Wala’s so that he decreases a fifty paisa for each dress he presses, your cab driver’s so that he is ready to wait for you when you have overslept, your Technical Lead’s so that he sends you for the recruitment next time in the King Fisher flight(yes I am obsessed with flights ). I have been pretty bad in winning people’s hearts (especially my Technical Lead’s) that I was wondering if I could just ask my dad to get it for me. People tell me we never make friends in the corporate world. You just meet people, be with them and move on. Life goes on. Is it that simple, always? If the colleague who plans to move on to greener pastures also happens to be one of your closest friends. If you have spend every waking moment with them. If you are ready to wait two extra hours hungry just to enjoy dinner together. If you have watched every other movie sitting besides them and dozing off on each others shoulder. If you have plunged into everything happy, watery, sad or muddy together. If they understand what you feel just by a silent nod or an unhappy murmur. Will you still find it simple? Does life just go on in the absence of such people? This one`s for you Patil and Raji. I am gonna miss you guys a lot.

I also saw nishabd

Today after spending about 35 hrs continous without sleep, I went to watch nishabd. Nishabd is the latest Amitabh Bachchan release, making headlines for all the wrong reasons. 60 year old guy falling in love with 18yr old girl. A good discussion has been done on it by my friend thanku in his blog whose link you can find in the bottom of this page. So I don’t need to go into that side of the movie. I went for the movie with my roomie. I enjoy movies the most when I go with her alone. We have our own little jokes, and crazy fun which we can never have with a big gang or a boy friend . We went to watch it in PVR cinemas, one of my fav hangout spots. So it’s a multiplex , and I had to pay 130 Rs for the movie. What I am implying is it`s not a low end theatre I am watching the movie in. I think I have emphasized enough on that. So while I was watching Giah Khan`s long beautiful legs from fifteen different angles, my roomie kept on asking me if I was stamping her. I didn’t pay any attention to her rants, I had better things to do. (Don’t expect any guy putting his leg on our seat story now, that I assume only happens in Thodupuzha* theatre ) I told her I was not stamping anything, till after a few minutes I felt a big living object pass by my legs. I froze, threw away my sandals and pulled my feet up on my seat, and turned to lavan (her name) and asked”did u just stamp me?” Both of us realized it was a third living being taking turns stamping us and not each other. I don’t particularly remember how Amitabh fell in love with Giah, after that. My mind was preoccupied with trying to imagine the different forms of God`s creations which could have brushed my feet. I was sitting in a multiplex theatre like how my great-grand mom sits on our dining table. Lavan has a nokia 1100 which is blessed with a torch light which my mp3 playing 1.3 Mega pixel 6131 set doesn’t have. We started frantically searching for the object, beneath our chairs. I was also hunting for my sandals which I threw in panic. We couldn’t find anything, but my imagination ran wild. I thought it could be a snake. And what if it bites us. But what was scarier was the thought that it could be a puppy. I am a muslim, and we are not supposed to touch puppies ,if at all we do, we should take bath 7 times, once being in sand, if my memory serves me right. Amitabh is teary now, he`s lost the laughter he had when the long legs were around. I think his wife found out. Anyway who cares, lavan whispers in my ear if it’s a baby crawling. Now that cracked me up (see why i enjoy going out with her). I was dying for the movie to end to start our real search. But the crowd probably scared the living being off. This movie had created waves , with its concept and I came out of the theatre thinking if I should voluntarily take the 7-time bath. PVR is one of the best theatres , and I continue to be loyal to it. But a puppy(it is a puppy, i am sure now ) doing the rounds during a movie is totally unacceptable. A silly brush in my feet made me forget the big screen in front of me. Explains the captivating power of the movie . I blame it on Ram Gopal Verma cause I have watched enough and more movies in my Thodupuzha theatre poking a pin into the fellow`s feet which is trying to rest in my seat behind, and still enjoyed it thoroughly. thodupuzha--place in north kerala. My Grandparents stay there.

Helping mentality..

I always think, if I ever was a teacher, I would have been a very lenient one. As a student I have always let my benchmates copy from my examination paper .Yes, all my answers were right. I was a very studious girl. I donno what exactly made me help my school mates, maybe it made me feel great, or maybe I just liked them thinking I am great, more of the latter. So just like any other day , today I went out of the way to help someone . My colleague was writing an exam, one which I had taken long back. Don’t ask me why we are writing exams in the middle of work. As I had written the exam before and as I am a good friend of his (for more reference on good friends read last blog) he asked me the answer to one of the questions. I didn’t know the answer –y? because I FORGOT. I have a volatile memory, me and my best friend have spend years trying to figure out why. I don’t mug up, cause that’s the toughest thing to do. And when I enter the examination hall I enter all-knowing, only to forget everything a few months down the lane. Sankar says we should learn to understand not to remember , but what I have concluded is maybe I am not passionate about what I learn. Or maybe its cause there is something wrong with my genes. I get very good marks in my exam and I know every nook and corner if discussed immediately before or after, but then boom! I didn’t know the answer, but telling him “I donno “ was a bit embarrassing for the 83 marks I earned for the same test few months back. I had to keep up an image in front of this fellow, he was my SL*. I told him I had to think it over went over to the next bay and asked a collegue for the answer(STUPID ME), he didn’t know the answer but inadvertently asked me who is writing the exam. I replied “what exam? I was asking to increase my GK”. This Mr Nosey went around and found out that the supposed to know-it-all SL himself is writing the exam , and had asked for my help. I am still alive and kicking because my SL is a true Christian and doesn’t believe in bloodying his hands. That’s the only reason believe me. I had written the same exam for two to three total strangers in the past few months. I had my answer sheet with me then, which I forgot at home today. I should have told my SL that I didn’t know, or even better that he ought to know. But I had to go out of the way , to help him and ruin it. I help people just to make myself feel better. I feel better most of the time, but when I try to impress people by helping them I fail miserably. FYI. I never help people in doing any sort of physical activity, ever. So don`t come to me next time you want to lift a couch or a spoon. * SL-- shift lead. I work in shifts, so we have managers for each shift. Hence the name shift lead

Fall

There is a puddle in the stairway of my girl`s hostel. Due to the consistent , unending leak from a water retainer situated nearby. Everytime I pass by that way I make a double conscious effort not to slip,walk like a two year old firmly holding the rail of the stairway. Even the idea of my roommate slipping and falling gives me shudders that I always scream from my room asking her to be careful every single time she crosses the place.Even during some of the long trips we take walking through some unruly ,uneven ground I always lag back trying to walk safely. It`s good that I have two friends hopelessly in love with each other that when , while trotting slowly revelling in each other`s glory, they have an eye on me struggling behind them. Thus I keep myself from getting kidnapped in some alien place.Talking about walking in normal even floors, that`s even worse. I take such small steps that too without lifting my feet from the floor. And with my best friend reciting “lift your feel while u walk” like a mantra behind me. It happens to be so unimpressive that even the guy who is head over heels in love with me is offended by the notion of me walking or half of my colleagues calling me bathak*. What is all this about? This over carefulness in using my feet. Plain easy fear of falling and hurting myself physically . There are people who enjoy the idea of broken bones. It is said God gives us only as much pain as we can bear. And God knows I cant bear any physical pain and so he made me a slow walker.Now going into the root cause analysis being the born psychologist . I have once seen my dad slip and fall not noticing the puddle of water in my white marble verandah. Absolutely nothing happened to him. No broken bones not even a tiny bruise. All I remember is that I was in unbelievable shock seeing him fall unexpectedly and hearing my mom shriek. It happened long back and I am sure both my mom and dad would have forgotten it . My friends if they hear this unimpressive story as the reason for making every trip of ours late will not believe me. Yet, everything has a reason. I have two left feet and I have accepted it. Its time for my unassuming SL also to learn that I don’t walk like a bathak out of choice. *bathak-- hindi word for duck