Couldnt think of a Topic

It’s my day off (rather my night off) work. [Night shifts have started again]. I am in my room all alone,( My roomie has left for Ireland for six weeks),sitting beside a heap of clothes and devising plans to clean my dilapidated room. Discovery is airing a particularly interesting program. It’s about mistresses. Nope I am not talking about head mistress here. It’s the “other” woman. As always discovery has handled this very emotional subject almost scientifically. All the references made in the program are famous. I hear Ted Hughes, John Lennon among many other names. They talk about the guilt the mistress suffers after breaking up a marriage. Most of them committing suicides unable to bear the guilt. They also talk about the change in the mentality of the mistress of yester years to the mistress of today. The one thing that catches my attention is how they have completely avoided discussing the state of mind of the man who has two women in his life. I donno if they excluded it cause that’s a topic too extensive in itself. Or cause they considered the two timing beast’s mentality not worthy of mention. Some where in the show I remember a lady saying ”Most of us are capable of loving more than one person at a time”. Interesting thought! I sms my friend to watch it if awake. I know all the world missed it, cause it was three at night and I might be the only nocturnal creature awake. After this extremely interesting program I decide to clean my room. I succeed except for the Herculean task. My wardrobe. Quite unlike the female species in the rest of the world, my wardrobe is a constant mess. It awaits my once in a six month clean up, every single day. So I throw out all clothes into my bed. It’s about three thirty and laziness engulfs me. Actually I am always engulfed by laziness so I should say I became normal and decide to do the cleaning some other day. Threw all the clothes back in and closed the closet door tightly. My room looks clean. Hmmm. I go back to watching TV . But now I cant find the remote! DAMN! I should have thrown it into my closet along with the clothes. I have a word with God. He hasn’t been on my side lately. And I have been blaming all my past sins(if any) as reasons. So what’s this for God? Did I trample on an ant while running to the bathroom? I fish for any non cloth like thing in my closet. No luck. I throw out all the clothes again. [Why god? Why?]. Can’t find the remote. I decide to use my hands to change the channel or resort to reading ‘Interpreter of maladies’. As I settle down with the book and pulled my cozy blanket over me. I feel a cold thingie near my feet, and I just knew it was my TV remote . So as I told you, my roomie’s untimely trip to Ireland has left me lonely at an odd time. Since she was my permanent shoulder to cry on, I have been crying on every random shoulder who passes by and my nose hit some cold bony shoulders on the way. And a particular thought told by a friend came to my mind. This recent addition (or subtraction) of a friend is about twenty seven years old, and he told me, how after running behind making friends for many years he found happiness within himself. It’s strange how we learn some stuff from the most unexpected of additions. So on another such depressing day. I am in Bangalore international airport after seeing off Lavan to Ireland. I am stuck with four of my guy friends talking about Marlboro cigarettes. And I am contemplating murder/suicide to keep myself busy, when a curvy dashing beauty catches our eye. Me and my other south Indian friend recognizes her to be a Tamil actress. I have a thing for celebrities, they make me happy. After grabbing Prabhanjan`s birthday card [that was the only piece of paper we had, it was his birthday]. I got her autograph and after a lot of coaxing from my friend posed for a pic with her. My friend made a random comment after sometime. That in the picture I look way better than I do in real life and she the reverse. [Now u can multiply me by a million and divide her by hundred crores. She still will look infinite times better than me. So guys! We are not comparing here]. And he compliments “You are very photogenic”. Now that’s something I have heard a gazillion times in my life. But this time I reconsider. And my mind wandered off to another discovery channel program about Princess Diana. Where they refer to her as the extremely photogenic princess. Made me wonder if she didn’t look this good in real life. Is that why Prince Charles never really loved her? Maybe Camilla Parker did look good in person. Hey! I began with a mistress story, so did I end with one. I sync!!

Happiness

I have a nasty headache and I have had a very bad day. Yoga instructors tell us time and again that whenever we are under stress, think about our happiest moment and picture ourselves there. I have found this exercise futile many times in the past. But this one time it worked

With no effort I could remember my stress free moment.

It was a working day afternoon. Since it was my day off, I decided to go shopping. My friend took me to a mall I had never been to before. The crowd was almost nil and the ambiance was serene. It was just the two of us all along. And my happiest moment was, standing beneath a fluorescent lamp showing off my hair color to my friend.

Now all I want to be is at that moment, when I was not planning for the future or being gnawed by the past. Just happy and at peace.

This one’s for my friend who accompanied me that day. Fyi, I was the happiest when I was with you.

Paying Guests

This ones going to be long. So impatient ones stay away. But it’s a mind gripping one too. So I would say read on! First we look into the back ground settings before plunging into the story. Back ground setting – I work in a city away from home. And hence stay in a PG. Its the abbreviation for paying guest. Essentially its just a ladies hostel. I have been undergoing some very acute sleeping disorders. Being catapulted from the night shift to the morning shift, my over strained biological clock doesn’t seem to be working. I am alert as a hawk through out the night. While I am drowsy all day long , sleeping through trainings, meetings, exams ,work and anything that happens in broad daylight. The day is Monday. Me and my roomie, Lavan have our weekly off. And hence are in our PG . My motive- not to sleep during the day, so that I can sleep at night. Lavan`s motive- not to let me sleep during the day, so that I don’t crib about not sleeping at night. I have a value addition in my room. My new roommate. She will be referred to as K from now on. She just shifted into our even otherwise tiny room. Now for the INCIDENT K comes running to our room. Takes lavan along with her. I am not invited, neither do I volunteer. I am planning to sleep once Lavan`s out of the room. I am deep in sleep when a visibly shaken Lavan emerges back and wakes me up. Conversation “A girl in the next room is unconscious. She has cut off her hair and its all over the room. Not sure if she has taken anything poisonous. We are taking her to the hospital. You coming? ” I knew that if I tagged along, I can be sure of one thing. I would keep myself awake and hence I grabbed my purse and went out with Lavan to the hospital. Characters – introducing GIRL- [will be referred to from now on as the VICTIM]. Is petite and fair . She has indiscriminately cut her hair from both sides. Whats left of it gives me an idea that her tresses should have been her crowning glory. She is staring blankly into nowhere. And is unable to stand straight without external help. I scratch my brain trying to remember if I have seen her before, but with no luck. VICTIM`S ROOMIE-[will be referred to as T from now on]: Extremely attractive girl. She finds it unfair that she has been thrust into all this trauma, just cause she shared a room with the victim. Its quite evident , she is just a roommate and not a friend. She is still in shock having had a first hand look at the semi conscious girl and her hair flying all over the place. So currently people taking the victim to the hospital are K, T, Lavan and of course me. The doc in the emergency ward reassures us that she hasn’t taken poison. That was the nagging worry all of us had. He suggested taking an appointment with the in house psychiatrist,though. K starts filling me up with details of why the unfortunate victim had to resort to such measures. Straining off all the masala she inadvertenly adds. I figured out her boyfriend has broken up with her. [Boyfriend is going to be referred to as VILLAIN from now on]. Another realization that followed shortly is that , the victim doesn’t have anyone in this alien city , other than the villain BF and his family. And he is not answering his telephone. I didn’t expect anything better anyway. The victim happens to be from one of the north Eastern states of India. And that to me sounded like far-far away ,so far away from Bangalore. Nevertheless we somehow got hold of her home number and decided to inform her family . What shocks us is that neither her mom or her dad rings us back or responds or even subtly hints that they are sending someone down here. Again K fills me up on some “the-family-has-disowned-her due to blah blah blah ”. Lavan is taken aback by the family`s response. She talks about “how can they!!” it’s their own flesh-blood theory. I nod equally in dismay. KAHAANI MEIN TWIST Villain’s [her boyfriend for those people who haven’t been reading whole heartedly ] uncle enter. He narrates some filmy story and tries to put the blame on the girl. I watch enough and more movies and I am not interested in listening , when something unexpected happens. K who has figured out all`s the victims fault, wants to “Take a walk”. I ponder over the grammatical correctness over her phrase. At the same time noting it down in my memory that , if ever I am in deep trouble [God forbid!] I am not dialing K`s number. She gives me and Lavan ideas of how we should lie to get ourselves out of there. [K doesn’t have the link to my blog page and would never read this]. As gullible and naïve as I am the villains uncle seems to me to be the most cunning knaw I have ever met. God sends a bolt of lightening from above, and I put myself in the victims shoes . following which me and Lavan decide to stay . T too stays. K leaves. There was an impending danger of a complaint lodging, police interference and such stuff. But whatever be it I was not ready to leave her with the villains uncle who among all his blabbering kept on saying NIMHANS every now and then. NIMHANS is mental hospital and they wanted to admit her there. [electric shock, wrongly diagnosed as mentally unstable!!]. I decided I was not letting her go with this uncle anyway. Villain`s MOM enter . I am beyond words to explain the villianity which oozed from her persona. If spotted by Subhash Ghai she would have be swished away to act in every treacherous role written for female kind. Lavan says she looks like Tamil actress Vadivakarasi [Tamil readers you know how she looks. The rest please Google it] Villians mom tries to talk to the victim. She still hasn’t uttered a word and is staring blankly . I cant take my eyes of the mom and am sitting right next to her. And she exclaims “Victim told me she wants to go to NIMHANS”. This when she hasn’t opened her mouth nor uttered a word. I mentally slapped the lady ten times for the ugly statement. We decided to take her back to our PG. People warn us about the million possibilities. What if she slashes her wrists at night? What if she attempts suicide? What if we get in trouble? I am positive since I don’t sleep at night I will be able to have an eye on her. So trusting my sleeping disorder we decide to take her back . I donno if it was the sternness with which we said we are taking her to the Pg and no where else or just the relief in leaving the trauma area, The villain’s family left. We met the psychiatrist, who managed to get her talking. She laughed. We reached back , she had her prescribed sedatives and all ends well. Now for the PSYCHO analysis I cant help thinking What if I was in her place? [ Chances of me being in her position are close to nil. Reasons I already have short hair so there is no point in cutting it off again. Secondly, I would probably be spit upon by KC and Lavan before thinking of doing anything stupid for any guy. Thirdly, cause I am luckily single]. But yet, what if I am? How many of my innumerable friends would stand by me? Not fearing the police complaints, overlooking the fact that the fault could be mine. How many would not let a semi conscious me into the hands of untrustworthy people? Lessons learnt: Never make your significant other the center of your universe. Significant others come and go. Family and friends are for life. [reiteration from last blog]. I thank God for not making me run away from the place. For making us stay and make all the right decisions. And by the way, I slept peacefully at night. I seem to have got my biological clock back on track. P.S: My friend asked me not to blog about this. Sorry I couldn’t help. And the stress relievers were, Lavan in her fury had come to the hospital wearing her blue colored bathroom slippers. It cracked me up every time I glanced at her feet. And I can SMS even in the most adverse circumstance and for me it’s a stress reliever. As much as it seems an impersonal account. I was totally rattled by the incident. Ask some unfortunate people who had to listen to my quivering voice at the time.

Think..

Lately I have had to think umpteen number of times before blogging, which explains why my april month blog looks dry. The reason being the overwhelming response my last blog got me. Should say I hate to “look before I leap”, particularly when the leap is towards something I enjoy doing. And I consider this impulsiveness a bigger sin than procrastination. I would like to make both(procrastination and impulsiveness, to be precise) legally offensive crimes, to make me refrain from doing them. According to popular demand I am painfully taking off my last blog. Only if every person who rang up me/ my family after reading it cared enough to write a comment. Hmmm.. Before the “removal” let me tell you, that it will remain one of my personal favourites (Sob!). Reasons I didn’t blog for the past one month, in random order 1) Was on a long vacation to my hometown and within two hours of landing in Bangalore was whisked away by my friends for a two day trip. The water/land trekking, over strained body, and extreme excitement had put me in a trance. I am slowly getting out of it , but still cant take my eyes of the snaps which I have already been through a million times 2) Too many incidents, but none I can write about without getting murdered by friends or disowned by family. 3) I failed to notice the finer details of my life possibly because there were too many. 4) My work has increased a teeny weeny bit. Now that’s what I call a lame excuse. J Topics which did inspire me in this span of time, this time in order of priority 1) The trip. My friends had even suggested a name for it -“Dirty me”. Considering that I was covered with mud from head to toe when the conversation took place 2) My Bengali intellect friend`s extreme dislike towards the media hype around AbhiAsh* wedding. He even snatched away Bangalore Times from me while I was carefully observing the sindoor on Ash`s forehead. 3) About being very bad at bowling, swimming, trekking, or even walking. And how Prabhanjan* does all the above with lazy elegance. 4) How stupid I am to watch both Tara Rum Pum and Pathfinder the same week, just for the sake of hanging out with my friends. Also about how I frequented Forum* and am waiting for a boon from the Forum Gods for visiting their mansion daily for the past whole week. 5) About realizing that one of the scariest things that could happen is to perceive a person you have known for long in a different light. Tara Rum Pum: The movie aims at making young citizens (who should be enjoying their summer vacations now) realize the value of hard earned money. Which leads to the fact that no one should spend 150 Rs on an YashRaj movie, ever. Aditya Chopra prefers the kids learning this the hard way. *AbhiAsh- Abhishek Bachchan Married Aishwarya Rai .Both of them Indian movie super stars, with half a dozen past affairs to talk about * Forum- A mall in Bangalore * Prabhanjan- Read my Introduction.

Kidwai

I was waiting in front of Kidwai Cancer hospital, along with two other friends, all three of us dragged from our night shifts. There was a mentally challenged girl (read little crazy) doing the rounds. I never knew she could scare the be-Jesus out of me, in spite of it being broad day light and having two adult men fit enough to protect me around me. (By Fit I mean physically, cause I dont think they had any mental inclination towards my safety, as one of them was alluring the girl towards me). I was missing my roommate very badly, she had gone home to Chennai, hence was not with us. I knew she wouldn’t have had plans to leave me alone with the crazy lady, like these two devils were having. All in all I was not feeling very good. My friend playing a chess game in his N 70 just to keep his eyes open, and me with my provogue t shirt and short hair, carrying two to three gift wrapped boxes, and loads of chocolates looked like aliens in the hospital verandah. This should have attracted the crazy lady I mentioned earlier. So, What were we doing there?It`s my friend`s birthday and this is kind of the surprise we had organised for her, a visit to the children`s dept of Kidwai cancer hosptial. She had been here before and had loved it. And we thought it would be the best birthday gift we could give her. As of now, we are waiting for her to enter the scene along with another fellow who is bringing her to the place(her eyes tied with my beautiful scarf). After both of them joined us, we went into the children’s ward to distribute chocolates, biscuits and fruits which we had bought for them. They had shaven heads, with blue marks all over their face, all of them were below ten years of age, and almost all of them had one or the other form of fatal cancer. I donno how much of a social worker lives inside of me, neither was I ready to feel sympathy cause I strongly believe that’s a useless emotion. But I just remember feeling one thing for sure, Blessed. The kids were in chemotherapy, their families spending their entire source of income with the slightest hope of getting their child’s lifetime extended. They had no life outside of the hospital, no thought other than fighting cancer, the entire 24 hrs of their day.I couldn’t do anything much for them other than giving a handful of money to the parents who came running to us but I came out promising myself one thing. Never ever to feel sad for all the silly reasons I usually feel sad for. For not being the mysterious girl whom every guy falls for, for not being tall enough, or for not performing good enough in an interview. I am healthy (masha Allah) and I get the food that I want to survive without any difficulty (other than climbing six floors to my canteen), and I am blessed. I still wonder what the girl we saw in the verandah would have undergone in life to loose her mental stability at such a young age.